This past weekend I decided that homeless crazies are geographically dispersed in a surprisingly methodical and organized way. I’m not sure if the nation’s city planners got together and played a few games of poker and instead of chips, they threw a bunch of insane bums in the middle and winner gets all. I’m guessing the people with the worst poker faces have the best advantage in this case. Regardless, the urine smelling nutbags seem to all congregate in the same concentrated area, so I figured there has to be a method to keep all the crazy contained in specific areas.
I’m not sure why I’m so fascinated by the homeless community. I always wonder if they misplace their marbles before or after life on da streetz. I mean I know plenty of crazy people that have nice homes and no holes in their socks. Case and point: my late grandmother that drove on sidewalks and gave biker gangs the finger, God rest her soul. My favorite part of going to big cities is the crazy bum watching. It’s similar to people watching with an element of risk. People watching is usually a spectator sport, however, crazy bum watching is similar to killer whale watching. Yes, usually the whales are far off in the distance swallowing sea kelp, but there’s always that chance that one will mistake a ferry full of Asian tourists for sea lions with camcorders.